It is two in the morning and I can hear my baby stirring, I run over from my bed as fast as I can knowing the quicker I can supply her milk and bring her comfort the less disturbed she will be and the calm lull of slumber will remain in the house. I make it, she stays asleep, I feel a win, this is what I used to call her “dream feed”. Fast asleep she would stay, with only a flicker of eye movement and a gentle suck of her lips. She would stay peaceful and happy keeping her nourished and fulfilled throughout the night. I on the other hand would be sitting in the silence, jealous of the tranquillity in her face, all alone in the dark and desperate for someone to run, wrap me up and comfort me in the same way. I would look out of the window searching for another dim light from another house on the street, maybe there was another mother out in the darkness doing the same, feeling the same? At the peak of my sleep depravity, anxious these lonely nights would never end, all I wanted was the comforting voice of another providing me a glimmer of hope and a flicker of light. I wanted a “dream feed”, something to nourish my soul and not my stomach, a word, a song, a story, a voice to help guide me through the postnatal fog. Over the many years of working with women in the postnatal period I have realised I was not alone, you are not alone. Here is a collection of short messages from others just like you who also wanted a voice to greet them in the darkness, in each podcast we will meet a mother who will scoop you up and “dream feed” you through those lonely moments.
With Love From Jessica x